I can't remember the last time I updated this "blog," because I have never updated it. I am told that blog is short for web log, but I think it could also be used as a nickname for bologna. Nevertheless, today I shall start recording my adventures and musings here for all and anyone to peruse. Think of it as my web log.
I've been out and about the country over the last few weeks performing in such states as Minnesota, Iowa and Wisconsin...also, Massachusetts and Maine (Maine being a secondary state and not really the "Main" one at all) Additional states included disheveled and blissful.
I know what you're saying..."well, what about Iowa, Ryan?" Exactly. What about Iowa, indeed.
The shows were great. Two shows Friday and Saturday at a place called The Funny Barn. It's in a small touristy town called Spirit Lake which is actually on Lake Okoboji (pronounced Oh-Ka-Bo-Gee, also another possible synonym for Bologna). I never saw any Spirit Lake...erie, yes? (No, not Lake Erie you fool, just erie, as in the adjective.)
Saturday, the town had a summer festival doo-dah happening. They blocked off the streets and brought in carnival rides and everything. This is the first time a town has ever done anything like this for me.
We were forced to participate. I say we. I was traveling with a comedic headlining friend named Bengt Washburn (probably not a great name for Bologna, but good for a comic). We were asked to participate in the water fight happening up the street. After we said no, then we were told to participate in the water fight. So we obliged (pronounced Oh-Bly-gd, you'd be stretching to use this as another name for Bologna, but you just might pull it off--try it and LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES).
I don't know if water fight conveys the meaning well. Two firehoses were laid down the middle of the street facing each other. It was probably high noon. A metal barrel attached to a pulley hung on a rope above the street that would slide when the hose fired upon it. The concept was to use the firehose to push the barrel back above the opposing team--similar to tug-of-war in a way. We were on a four-person team for this single elimination tournament. The dress standard was fireman's coat and helmet, so we went with that.
Our first competitors were actual firefighters! Needless to say we lost. You know, whatever it takes for them to get their kicks, but if it means beating some comedians with a firehose then I would hate to be them.
When it was evident that we were going to lose. Our team leader hosed the onlooking townspeople. It was a nice touch, I thought.