I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "Save the Skagit Farmland...Pavement is Forever." I don't what the Skagit Farmland is, but I'm all for pavement in certain situations, because think about this...diamonds are forever too, but pavement is much cheaper.
Using pavement, I can express my enduring love with a new backyard patio and save a bundle.
"Look honey, it's pavement, and pavement is forever. I love you."
I had a job interview today. It was a group interview, and the interviewer told us that we were each to tell something interesting about ourselves. (Actually, she said we were to meet the people around us and tell something interesting about them, but for the purpose of my half-true, joke/story, we were asked to talk about ourselves.)
The interviewer said, "I'll go first. My name is Dana, and I have naked cats." She went on to explain that naked cats are a strange breed of furless cats.
"They look like aliens, but I love them," she said.
(Now is where the story turns from half-truth to no truth.)
I was next, and because I wanted to impress her, I said, "My name is Ryan, and I have cats that wear clothes."
Intrigued by my statement, she asked through laughter, "What types of clothes?"
Now let me tell you, in an emergency I'll occasionally lie; although, I'm not very good at it.
"Clothes like mine," I said.
"People clothes?"
"Yes, people clothes. They're big cats, a rare breed made especially to wear clothes like we're wearing here today," I said.
"Khakis?"
"Yes, but not the girl cats. Kapris maybe, whatever."
"So, they're big cats? Like as tall as me?"
"Yes."
"Don't they take up a lot of space?
"Well, yes. I have three clothes cats, so I have to live in a bigger apartment. It's expensive, but I love them."
"That must be nice."
"It's very nice. I love coming home to see Mittens relaxing in his khakis and pullover watching Animal Planet. You know, it's just something to come home to."
"Right., that's how I feel about naked cats!"
"Cheers!" I said.
"Well, Lyndsey we haven't heard from you yet," she said.
I think I got the job.
I don't think it's so much the geographic area or the architecture that's inspiring. It's mostly the license plates. First of all, I like the colors. The red, white and blue that blend together behind a mountainous skyline. It's almost a postcard. Then, it's got dual slogans because we have so much to say--'Famous Potatoes' and 'Scenic Idaho.'
The whole package really stands out on your car. I think Idaho must have one of the most identifiable plates out there. Although when you're driving an Idaho car out of state, people will stare. I remember when I had Idaho plates living in New Hampshire. I got a lot of looks. I would get comments at the gas station like, "I went through Idaho once, and it's anything but 'scenic'." And, "Yea, I spent a week in Idaho one afternoon."
"Haha," I would say and then point out their ridiculous license plate. It boldly states, "New Hampshire--Live Free or Die." Isn't that a little harsh, Cliff? C'mon we're all patriots in this country. Should you really be threatening the rest of us when your state is the size of pizza? Chill out yankee doodle. We're with you.
My point is, the plates in Boise have something extra. I've noticed an abundance of personalized plates that are inspiring rather than self-serving. Plates like, "drembig" and "gr8at2d" and "nvrgvup" (although I was thinking "nvrgvup" is inspiring with one exception. If you're trying to give up a smoking habit, I bet this statement is more like a kick in the pants, but I'm sure this is not intentional by the plate's creator). These plates are everywhere, which I think is a sign of the good people in Boise and another reason why I like it here.
I think Subway is great. Subway makes decent, semi-healthy sandwiches cheap. And, they're everywhere. They'd probably put a Subway in your sock drawer if you'd let them. I'm thinking about putting in a request for my glove compartment. That way Subway could travel with me.
I think I should be the new Subway spokesperson. Jared's getting stale. Don't you think? I could make a different statement than Jared's making too. Yea, Jared lost a lot of weight, but people with the build of a matchstick eat at Subway too. I want to be the skinny man's sandwich hero.
My commercials would show me and a bunch of my embarrassingly beanpole-like friends shoveling meatball sandwiches into our faces. We'd high-five each other every time we finished one. Jared would walk by and shake his head, and then I'd buy him a six inch cold cut trio with no mayo. He'd sit down to eat it with us, and everyone would be happy.