June 30, 2005
Enchantment Under the Sea
After I asked some comedy club patrons to take this picture, they got reprimanded by the staff. Sorry. But, what a fantastic, fun club this is! I'm having a good time here!
This is from my new camera. It has an underwater setting. Sure, you know, portrait, landscape, and underwater, like that. It simply turns photos red as far as I can tell. There must be a lack of red under the water and the extra evens everything out. Although, I don't think I'll ever get to use it. The factory warranty says so. I'd like to make a call to Canon service representatives. I'm confused.
There is a very nice lady from Rexburg, ID on Letterman right now playing stump the band. Rexburg is about 30 miles from my hometown. We're neighbors as far as Idaho is concerned.
Letterman said, "the only thing I know about Idaho is that their license plates say famous potatoes." It's too bad Eileen from Idaho doesn't know my comedy jokey bits. What a perfect setup!
June 29, 2005
What's in your satchel?
Today, my plane was delayed for "paperwork." Just in general. It was announced to us as if someone important to the flight, a pilot perhaps, had forgotten to file taxes. "Thanks for your patience today. Just a slight delay this morning while I hunt down my e-filing PIN." My mind was full of images of pilots shuffling through hanging file folders on the flight deck.
Later, on the connecting flight, everything was in order and we were in the air quickly sans last minute faxes. I sat next to Ellouise, who likes clouds. Ellouise is 78 and lives with her friend, Bessie, so she can take care of her. Bessie is 99.
"Is that a cumulus?"
"You know, I don't know. That sounds right."
"Ha ha! I haven't flown in fifteen years. That airport is so much bigger than I remember."
"All the airports are busier too with new security."
"Oh, yes! Today, I forgot to take my gun out of my satchel."
"You had a gun?! At the airport...in a satchel? Do you always travel with a gun?"
"Well, yes! When I'm driving! Look at that dark cloud right through the white ones."
"What did they do?"
"I don't know. I guess it must be from another plane flying the other way."
"I suppose you're right. Hmmm." (short pause) "What did the security do?"
"Oh! Well, I was halfway through the security line when I realized I had forgotten to leave my gun at home. I called a guard over right away. They took my gun away and said I could pick it up when I get home. Look at those! They're white as cotton."
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The show was great tonight in Virginia Beach! Had a fun time. The audience was into it and happy.
June 28, 2005
Just checking in...
I've been home from Brea, CA for about 30 hours, and I'm getting ready to leave early, early to Virginia Beach. I'm going to take pictures this week and post them here for you! Yeah?June 24, 2005
Check it out Matt, I'm blogging!
I’ve been receiving an overwhelming number of requests to add to the blog. It’s truly unbelievable and humbling. One request after another keeps pouring in, and yes, they’re all from the same person, but I’ve decided to once again indulge in typing anyway. I know the home keys, and I WILL to use them.
Despite the superabundance of requests, I really should write more. Much has happened lately. I’m in the third week of the Sierra Mist tour. Everyone has been extremely accommodating and kind, and I’m having a great time! I’ve worked with Aires Spears, Dave Attell, and Carlos Alazraqui so far, and I’m learning a lot. I hope to be funny soon.
Dave Attell was great and fun to work with. He asked me how I live with myself when Sierra Mist has alcohol in it. I don't drink. Turns out Sierra Mist doesn't have alcohol in it, but a good time was had by all anyway. I can take it. I'm tough.
What else? When I’m not jet setting into superstardom or relaxing at the garden pool of Sierra Mist behind my new crib, I’ve been busy. Actually, last week was very busy with my sister's wedding. Ah, yes little sister is all grown up and making me feel old. They got married in the wilds of Idaho on the shores of a beautiful, remote lake, so it was a nice gettaway. The Internet was not available but paddleboats were, so I was happy. We had a fun time. For their reception, they had a great band out of Boise. I will say if Soul Train ever comes looking, I'll be there. I can dance, man. For real.
I've been spending a lot of time in Idaho. I recently went back to my old high school and spoke at their graduation. I make it sound like I just showed up and made my demand to be heard, but they actually invited me beforehand. They thought I would be funny. Twenty-eight students graduated this year and I think I made them all laugh at least once.
It's hard enough to be funny, but it's even more difficult to add inspirational. I told them to be true to themselves, have fun and give 100 percent. That's what I usually tell myself before I get onstage. Either that or 'don't bomb.' Both are effective. I told them they have a unique advantage growing up in rural Idaho. I told them they are different there than much of the country. I told them many people would have them believe that coming from a small, rural community they didn’t get exposed to enough diverse opportunities. I told them to laugh and then ask, "when was the last time you pulled a potato out of the ground?" Then, I told them they will laugh at you. I hope that's true. My career is riding on it.
Later, but not a lot.