A Friendly Blog by Ryan Hamilton

Typical

Today has been a very typical day on the road, so I thought it might be interesting to do a little expose.

I got breakfast at the hotel, and later, I went out and grabbed a bite to eat. MMMMM...fish tacos!

I went back to the hotel and sent out a few e-mails. Here's a candid shot of what my workspace usually looks like.

I worked on a few other items. Here's a look at my to-do list.

With today's items finished, I decided to jump in the pool for a little exercise. I like a good swim.

Here I am taking a breather and just enjoying the weather.

I went back to the room and started getting ready for the show, which included some ironing today. It's nearly impossible to keep anything wrinkle-free in a suitcase.

Anyway, I know it's not too exciting, but I hope you got a feel of what a typical day on the road is like. Now, it's about time to go to the club. Catch you later!

San Jose

I'm in San Jose. It's nice here. The weather is splendid. Cincinnati last week was deathly humid and hot. You know this going to be an exciting blog post when I lead with the weather.

Actually, there is a lot of excitement--a Grand Prix race through the city streets. Yes, San Jose is hosting a race this weekend. It's all the buzz here. It really is going to be something. I hope I can get in and see some of it. Grand Prix, open-wheel cars at speeds up to 180 mph on city streets! That's something to see. Briefly. But, see nonetheless. More on that later.

The club here is beautiful! As a comedian, it's one of those places that you walk into and and it just makes your hear melt to visualize it full of people. It truly is a unique stage. It's an old theater, recently renovated. I like that feel. It's feels more show-businessy backstage in a theater. Lots of ropes and curtains and scaffolding and things.

I took a photo from the upper level seating, but it's not that great. I hope you can get the feel for the place, anyway.

Open Mic

I've been home since Monday battling a head cold. I'm finally starting to feel better, so I decided to... just get out! I went to an open mic last night and worked on some material. You can check it out because I've included it as an MP3 in this blog post.

Maybe you (who are you?) will like it so much that it I'll be inspired to do this more often. My new nickname is 'hi-fi'. Use it appropriately, limited time offer.

open mic.mp3

Another Posed Group Shot of Comics Having Fun

We had a good time this week--Alex Ortiz, Aries Spears, and myself. Can you believe that only one of us has never played The Apollo?

Public Transportation and Ducks On Strings

I have a nasty cold today, and that's why I'm in the room watching Mr. Holland's Opus while I write. Although, yesterday I took an adventure into Cincinnati on the public transportation system called TANK. How is it that transportation organizations always have the best acronyms? Although, it wasn't a Tank at all, it was bus. A public tank--now that'd be somethn'.

Initially, I was planning on heading to a large outdoor mall to see a movie, but I couldn't bring myself to see another movie, and anyway, they weren't playing Opus. I decided instead to stop at a little green square on the TANK map called Contemporary Arts Center. I only walked around the museum store. I saw lots of little ingenious doodads that harnessed the power of the magnet. Museum stores would be nothing without magnetism. I didn't have time to get my money's worth for the main exhibit about slideshows. I found a smaller museum around the corner featuring some mixed media artists that was free.

The entryway of the museum displayed a piece from the ceiling. It was a bunch of stuffed ducks on wires attached to motors that spin around and around the room, like something created by a taxidermist with a ceiling fan who decided to take the idea to the people. I like it. It's called Flock. I watched for longer than the average person, probably. Once, I thought it might be interesting to have amongst the flying ducks a shotgun on strings that flew around and around in like manner. Just a flying shotgun amongst the flying ducks. Would that be funny? Maybe offensive to some? I wondered how people would interpret it. Probably a hundred different ways I concluded. I just thought it would be funny.

I walked around a little more in an area the TANK map calls Fountain Square. It was a nice fountain. I would've taken a picture, but the battery in my camera died after it saw the ducks. I gave a woman a dollar for a program in her church to help drug addiction. She gave me some very strange looking Tootsie Rolls that I didn't eat. I walked around a little mall. I spent some time in TJ Maxx and bought a wallet originally marked $100 for $20. You should see my old wallet. It's old and empty. This is one is new.

I got back on the bus. There was a woman on the bus who had been on my bus into the city. That's always a surprise. Like, you're almost obligated to say hi now, since this is the second time you've shared a bus. That seems to happen to me a lot on planes too. I think that should be one of those things that means good luck. The whole experience has a positive vibe to me.

As for yesterday's shows. Every once in a while you get an audience that just rocks beyond others. Last night at the late show, we had a killer audience. They were always teetering on the edge of standing up (some would), but most would just bubble in their seats ferociously and make you love your job. If audiences like that didn't happen occasionally, I don't think live stand-up would exist. Comics need that. Not every show but occasionally.

The Bengals and Reds Are Also Here

I had three radio spots this morning. One tomorrow. I'm starting to feel more at ease on the radio. Maybe it's because I'm in Cincinnati (I can't tell you how many times I've learned to spell Cincinnati and can't). You see, in my mind this is the city for radio! This judgement is based on the late seventies early, eighties sitcom WKRP, set in Cincinnati. You remember.

I keep hoping that when we show up to one of these stations, Lonnie Anderson will be greeting me at the front desk, behind her on the wall will read 'WKRP.' Gordon Jump will call me into his office to show me his trophy fish. I'll be on air with that Johnny someone or something DJ (I just saw him on a Bob Newhart tribute yesterday. How's that for a coincidental collision?) whose reflexes, I remember from one episode, become sharper the more alcohol he consumes. Maybe that Herb, the ad salesman, will make an asinine comment followed by a wink in Lonnie's direction. I'd laugh and laugh to walk into all that.

Get this. Once, WKRP pulled a stunt for listeners by dropping Thanksgiving turkeys from helicopters to the city below! What a bunch of crazies! I'd like to say here I'm constantly amazed by the list my brain carries titled These Useless Things I Will Never, Never Forget.

And as long as we're on the much under-discussed subject of sitcoms set in radio stations, I'd like to say that NewsRadio was a great show. I realize now that I'm coming across as a guy who watches a lot of TV. I don't think that makes me automatically cool, so I'll stop.

I've been working. I booked an exciting corporate show today that will happen in August.

I've been fussing over a new website design. Well, I should say, someone else is working on the actual design. I recently received back some drafts, and I really liked them. Now, I'm working on getting the content upgraded and ready to post. What do you think of these taglines? I want something not too showy that sums up my comedy quickly and is funny while still expressing my postmodern angst (?).

Ryan is...
-A real hipster with sex appeal to spare
-A hysterical soft drink spokesperson
-Brave-ish
-Timely

Or...
Infrequently hip, often funny.

Or...
More funny than hip.

Or...
More hip than few, funnier than some.

I don't know. I'm working on it.

About seven hours until radio. It just started raining but not turkeys.

Not Too Bulky, Spiderman!!!

I have tons of requests for work pouring in. For instance, take the e-mail below that found it's way to my inbox.

Subject: Casting For Official Spiderman Appearances (Two Positions Available)

We are currently seeking men that can pull off the role of Spiderman for a local appearance. An official replica costume will be provided for the event!!!

Applicants will need to be:
1. Lean
2. Muscular (Not Too Bulky)
3. Reliable
4. Very Outgoing
5. Dependable
6. 5’9" - 5’11"

Along with needing a Spiderman, we are also needing an escort/manager to travel with Spiderman and take photographs. This person must also be very reliable, dependable and have a digital camera.

There will also be a paid training.

If interested, please apply ASAP time is limited!!!

---
Unfortunately, I'm already booked that day. I particularly like the part about Spiderman's "escort/manager" who must have, among other things, a digital camera. I also find the use of multiple exclamation points bulky!!!(but, not too bulky, mind you). I'd like to be a fly on the wall for the paid training.

This is some serious fun!

Yesterday, I got up early to get in touch with nature and cozy up to an outboard. Look at me livn'!

Bob & Tom

Had a blast on Bob & Tom Friday! Here I am in the green room. It was posh, with customized cups and everything.

Here I am with Tom. He's smiling, really.

Portrait

This is me hanging out in the back of the club after the show tonight . I had a great set...can't you tell?

Pimp this, MTV!

I flew into Indianapolis today and went to straight to Prom. I didn't have time to change or anything. No, just kidding, I've never been to a Prom.

What really happened is the person at the car rental counter talked me into upgrading. Hey, you only live once! (his words) Anyway, what do you think? Nice car and nice legs, right? Thanks, I know. I don't know how I pull it all together either.

Doing Bob & Tom radio on Friday! It should be a blast!

Last day of the comedy week

This is myself, Ron Morey, and Aries Spears. We worked together this week in Virginia Beach. We played rock, paper, scissors to decide who would get to look at the camera. Aries won using the scissors.